Number 1: Pen, Number 2: Thoughts

To My Special Agent

2010-02-01T16:40:00.000-08:00

Portrait of Special Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks.

King Bear, King of Bears

2010-02-01T16:38:00.000-08:00

Drawing by me, color by Chuk

A Caucus Race!

2010-02-01T16:37:00.000-08:00

Batman Dance Party

2010-02-01T16:32:00.001-08:00

Returned-ish!

2010-02-01T16:29:00.001-08:00

I think by now, most of you know that I've moved my blogging operation to Repulsive Interactions, but since it's a little hard to navigate the archives on that one, I figured I'd repost my "art" from there back on this site, to make it easier to find.

Presented Without Comment

2009-09-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

Repping the SFV

2009-08-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

So August has been a big ol' dry spell on this here blog, mostly because I've spent it in LA, where I've been more engaged in enjoying really stellar food, napping with my dog, and letting my thoughts percolate than in doing anything legitimately interesting or productive.

Tough luck for all (six) of you.

HOWEVER, amid all the many and varied projects that have floated through my brain, I stumbled across something that, believe it or not, is actually within my abilities and will probably hold my interest to completion (probably). It's this: an essay series on something I am all too familiar with: the San Fernando Valley. Yes, laddies and gentilemen, I think it's high time I began to articulate my extremely complicated relationship with that most hated region in that most hated city in which I grew up.

Anyway, here it is, let's see how this goes.

Together At Last

2009-08-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

This painting is based on an actual photograph that appeared in Martha Stewart Living. So I took absolutely no creative license here (apart from changing an overly detailed kitchen into a pleasant blue background because I was really too lazy to replicate it). Martha Stewart, Alan Cumming, Margaritas, sombreros. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

I like to pretend that they do this once a week.

And that I'm invited.

Things I'm Going To Miss About My House

2009-07-31T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm moving out of the ol' crack den, and into another town house with an identical floor plan. And yet here are the things I will miss (in no particular order):

1) Wacky dance parties at night in a well-illuminated room in front of the window.

2) The ghost.

3) The decorations (i.e. portraits of first ladies, tapestry of dogs playing pool, creepy painting of a child).

4) Two ant farms, no ants.

5) The fear that I am turning into one or both of the Edies from Grey Gardens.

6) Anti-gravity crate.

Chuck Jones > Isaac Newton

2009-07-24T01:53:00.000-07:00

Just a little cartoon physics on a Thursday night. Now watch more Looney Tunes. Doctor's orders.

On Language

2009-07-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

"Guppy" and "snoop" might be two of the cutest words ever.

All Omnivore, No Dilemma

2009-07-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

Screw you, Michael Pollan! You can't tell me how to live!

Popsicles prevent death. Spread the word.

What I Gave My Sister For Her Birthday

2009-07-14T22:42:00.000-07:00

A tree branch soaked in shampoo and conditioner, just like I promised.

I am the best sibling ever.

In A Fit Of July

2009-07-05T13:46:00.000-07:00

Venn Diagram Day '09 was an unqualified success!

Try this game at your next Venn Diagram Day celebration:

Have everyone write an assortment of nouns on little slips of paper. Each person then draws two out of the pile and has to make a Venn Diagram of those two words. Hilarity ensues!

Other fun Venn Diagram Day activities:

-Fly a Batman kite while listening to the theme from Batman!
-Do Jazzercise in the park!
-Make an unintentionally erotic-looking Venn Diagram cake!
-Have your friend make enchiladas for everyone!
-Picnic!
-Blow bubbles!
-Go for a swim!
-Watch Jaws!
-Build a Fort of July!

Hope you guys had a great Venn Diagram Day! I sure did.

News On The BillPullman Front

2009-06-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

Text I received at 11:28 AM yesterday from my dear friend (and loyal reader of this here blawg) Angela:

"OHMYGODOHMYGODBILLPULLMAN!!!!"

And then at 11:34:

"I am currently sitting in the seat just vacated by Bill Pullman's ass."

Jealousy? Barely scratches the surface.

Also, if you have been wondering why I write his name as one word, it's because that's how I like to pronounce it. Also with diminished enunciation, so basically when I talk about him I sound like an 8-year-old talking about Joe Jonas, although obviously BillPullman and I have a more mature relationship (Read: it started as an ironic joke, and now it's a sincere joke. I think. Actually, I really have no idea. It's confusing even for me).

Yeaaahhh She's Foxy, She's Foxy Browownnn

2009-06-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

Remember back in March when I took notes while watching Foxy Brown? I also did this portrait of her, saying what is probably my favorite line in a movie ever (hyperbole is my life's blood). Her face doesn't look as Pam Grierish as I would hope, but hey, it's smaller than my pinky nail in real life, so give me a break.

The title is my attempt to render the tuneless wailing and lyrical repetitiveness of Foxy's theme song.

We Didn't Need Dialogue, We Had FACES!

2009-05-29T13:31:00.000-07:00

My love of Norma Desmond is no secret to religious readers of this blog/people who have spoken to me for more than ten minutes. Hence she is the first page of my current notebook.

By the by, if you will consult this clip, which I was kind enough to post for you last October, you will realize that the line is, in fact, "Mister DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up", not freakin' "I'm ready for my close-up, Mister DeMille." But then, being readers of this high-quality blawg, I'm sure you already know that/have heard me rant about it because I care about the important issues in life, like properly quoting Sunset Boulevard. Priorities, dear readers, priorities.

That's Abominable!

2009-05-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

I had a dream where this happened, and I made art out of it. I'm basically a latter day Dali.

Hey Jeff Goldblum!

2009-05-20T16:03:00.000-07:00

You guys, I know who the other marine biologist should be! (Thanks to my sister for sending me a text message this morning, reading "JEFF GOLDBLUM".)

DearJeffGoldblum.

Oh my god, Jeff Goldblum, I like you so much. Remember that part in Jurassic Park when you were all "This is chaos theory, yo." That was the best part, apart from all the parts with dinosaurs. You know what's even better than dinosaurs? SHARKS. Now, I know what you're going to say, it'll probably be all "BlahblahblahblahLifeAquaticblahblahbobloblaw'slawblog." But let's face it, Jeff Goldblum, it wasn't that good a movie. And everyone likes you! They want to see you play a rival marine biologist after a shark but in a great movie, full of action and suspense and not catering to snotty hipsters like me when I was in high school and that movie came out! A movie where sharks freakin' EAT people and it's all gross and stuff, and maybe even a KID gets eaten. I am writing such a movie! I will direct it! I will do the cinematography too! (I have a camera on my laptop, you see. And it's a Mac! You used to advertise for them!) I already have a handshake commitment with Bill Pullman to play the kindly marine biologist (sort of), and I want you to play the ROGUE marine biologist. He has a gun! Guns are cool! (sort of) You'll be kind of a bastard like that guy Harrison Ford played in that movie about space, I'll think of the title in a minute, but just like him, you'll turn out to be alright, but unlike him you'll get eaten by a shark! WHOA, right?

Anyway, I hope you will not let this opportunity pass you by or think that this is just some cheap excuse for me to meet you and hang out with you and maybe have a sandwich or a beer or something BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY NOT (sort of). I have enclosed some shark temporary tattoos that you can wear and show off to all of your friends. I hope you will be in my movie!

XOXO
Your fan,
Tessa A. Strain

P.S. I've even seen Earth Girls Are Easy. Like ONE AND A HALF TIMES, no fooling!

P.P.S. I remembered the name of that Harrison Ford movie! It was Witness.

Hey Bill Pullman!

2009-05-18T19:57:00.000-07:00

Two things I am obsessed with: sharkity-sharks and Bill Pullman (the latter for reasons it could take eons to describe, so just accept it). WHY HAS NOBODY THOUGHT TO COMBINE THESE TWO THINGS? Clearly this is a cinematic void that must be filled, and if need be, I will do it myself. I thus present my query letter to Bill Pullman.

DearBillPullman,

How are you? Was your weekend good? Mine was okay. I had a brainstorm! Your body of work seems to be missing only one thing. A shark movie! Would you like to be in my shark movie? I am writing it. I will give you the best part! You will play the gentle-spirited marine biologist who has lost a toe to a shark but still bravely continues to study them. I think you would be great! You could make a speech about how scary sharks are and how everyone should respect them, and then the townspeople could ignore you because they want to preserve the tourist trade. And you will shake your head sadly. Then you will team up with a rogue marine biologist! Who has a gun! You will have different ideas about how to to things. But in the end, just as you have learned to work together, the shark will eat the other marine biologist, but then you will defeat the shark! And win a medal! And a key to the city! And an attractive woman who has liked you all along will finally have the courage to speak up! The end.

I know it's not much on paper, but Bill Pullman, with the help of your acting I know it will be great! Please write back! I have enclosed several stickers with pictures of sharks (and sparkles!) to encourage your hasty reply.

XOXO
Your Fan,
Tessa A. Strain

P. S. I really like sharks and you!

Gummy Worms

2009-05-01T15:58:00.000-07:00

"I"m proud to put our name on this product. It represents the quality and value you've come to expect from CVS. I know you'll enjoy the great taste. As always, it carries our money back guarantee."

This is from a package of sour gummy worms from CVS.

I wish someone would give me a vote of confidence like that.

They weren't even very good gummy worms (yeah, the fact that gummy worms vary in quality comes as a shock to me, too).

Someone's In The Kitchen, With Or Without Dinah

2009-04-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

So the other night, when I could have been alleviating the gigantic crush of work that will be hitting me tonight, I opted instead to sit in my kitchen reading the Fannie Farmer Cookbook and doing anagrams with my roommates. And hey, guess what? I am HORRENDOUS at anagrams (or maybe there just aren't that many anagrams you can make from "Foxy Brown"). The cookbook, on the other hand, was far less disappointing, perhaps because it required no actual skill on my part. There was a recipe for "Birthday Cake", which was a weirdly specific walnut/raisin/orange affair, which I don't understand at all. Although I have had birthday pie since I was a kid, so what do I know.

My favorite entry was for Divinity, however, because underneath the name it said:

"Divinity is meant to be eaten in short order: it dries out quickly."

Live forever while you're young, kiddos.

Things I Routinely Fantasize About

2009-04-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

-watching The Ten Commandments while snuggling with an adorable puppy

-riding a dinosaur while eating cotton candy

-going on a fishing trip with Karl Lagerfeld

-being in a convent and writing dirty letters adorned with dinosaur stickers to my secret lover

-being best friends with a sharkity-shark for a day and subsequently getting eaten

-the RZA being my next-door neighbor

-Sid Vicious and Pam Grier as my shoulder Devil and Angel, respectively

-being old and sitting on my porch and yelling at kids

-having a servant whose only jobs are to give me popsicles and make me toast whenever I want

Notes I Took While Watching "Foxy Brown"

2009-03-31T23:34:00.001-07:00

There are boobs 30 seconds into this movie!

That's a really small gun.

"I'm a black man, and I don't know how to sing, and I don't know how to dance, and I don't know how to preach to no congregation, and I'm too small to play football, and I'm too ugly to be elected mayor."---He's not wrong; he looks like if Sammy Davis Jr. were hideous

Are those overalls? How did I not notice she was wearing overalls?

How could anyone be intimidated by a woman with bangs like that?

"That's my sister, baby. And she's a whole lotta woman."

Oh no, Pam Grier, I want the 'fro back!

"You tell me what you want done, and I'll do the hell out of. If the price is right."---You guys, I think she's talking about prostitution.

"Then why don't we adjudicate this matter in your chamber and maybe pass a few motions?"---This is my new pick-up line.

"And I got MY black belt in bar stools."---This is my new favorite movie

SHE JUST PICKED A RAZOR BLADE UP WITH HER TONGUE NO WAY NO WAY

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. OH NO WAIT I WAS KIDDING

They are on fire!

"Man, I'm ballin' my ol' lady, can't you come back later?"

Oh man, this is my new audition monologue.

She hit him WITH A PLANE

Oh my god EEEEEEW

Haha, that's what you get for having ugly bangs

The Inevitable Has Happened

2009-03-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

And by "inevitable", I mean Dinosaur/Sharkity-shark showdown.

You guys, I didn't even use my "Fun With Dinosaurs" stencils to draw this.

To Everyone Who Has Asked Me What My Plans Are Once I Graduate College

2009-03-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

They are this.

If There Is A God...

2009-03-11T14:06:00.000-07:00

...then I'll turn into this when I'm old.

Tessa's Big Day

2009-02-27T01:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight I ate an entire cherry pie in 17 minutes and 34 seconds.

I have this feeling that when I wake up in the morning I will ask myself "Where do I go from here?"

A Special Valentine's Day Message

2009-02-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

At least Jesus loves you.

Your Patience Is Rewarded!

2009-02-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

Remember back in October when I did that still life with cheap alcohol and snack food? Well, it's time for a reprise, this time with our good friend Two-Buck Chuckles and Trader Joe's Honey Nut O's! Holy cats, my life is so tasteful and classy.
Apologies for my nonexistent sense of perspective, making y'all wait this long for actual drawings, and the fact that it only occurred to me that glass was shiny when I was about 3/4 of the way done with this.

It Never Fails

2009-02-09T15:23:00.001-08:00

pieces of chewing gum=layers of clothing

When in doubt, add another.

I Feel Ya, Jupiter

2009-01-05T13:56:00.000-08:00

Watching animated models of the planets orbiting the sun always brings back the indignity of getting lapped at swim team practice when I was a kid.

I Could Do So Many "More Likes" With The Word "Peacock"

2009-01-03T17:03:00.000-08:00

Another commission, this one from my pal Katie, who called me about 45 minutes ago asking me to design a peacock feather tattoo for her by 6:30 PM. Challenge accepted.

My Letter To Santa

2008-12-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

Wishful thinking, because I'm probably just going to get a stocking full of coal, and rightly so.

Yet Another Sign I May Be On The Fast Track To Becoming A Crazy Person

2008-12-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

I had my College Jeopardy! audition yesterday! Very exciting, in a sitting in a room with fifteen nerdy, bespectacled twenty-something young men kind of way. There was a written test, and a simulation of the game, and then a personal interview, during which I was asked what would I do if I won the $100,000 that the college champion gets. And without even thinking I immediately blurted out the first thing that popped into my head:

"Hedge maze with peacocks!"

So we'll see if I'll be saying similarly ridiculous things on national television come April. But in the meantime, I did get a free Jeopardy! pen, so I already feel like a winner.

I Have Noticed

2008-12-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

Two things that are pretty easy to get for free:

-crayons

-condoms

Mary, Mother Of Pez

2008-12-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

This was done as on commission for my lovely friend Leon. I love thinking about Pez dispensers because I like to imagine a bunch of besuited advertising men trying to figure out how to sell the most disgusting candy ever, after Necco wafers, and one of them saying "Wait! I've got it!" I watch Mad Men, so I know all about how this works.

Hmm, I may need to do a color version of this.

The Grotesque Holiday Decoration That's Sweeping The Nation!

2008-11-28T11:32:00.000-08:00

Well, Thanksgiving is over, which means two things:

1) Pie for breakfast

2) The Christmas season has begun!

With Number 2 in mind, I give you the holiday garland that will revolutionize holiday decorating:

MistleToes!

I don't yet know what one is supposed to do under them, but I have no doubt it's something disturbing. And yet my house will soon be festooned with them. Get ready.

Why I Love Trader Joe's

2008-11-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

While getting carded as I went to purchase a bottle of wine (and a cartload of awesome Trader Joe's snackity-snacks) a couple days after my birthday, the cashier noticed the date on my driver's license, wished me a happy birthday, and plopped this bouquet on top of my groceries. Totally brightened my day, which was subsequently darkened when I locked my keys inside my car (a car which, I must say, is probably entirely deserving of its own post, and which will probably receive it).

And yes, the flowers are being displayed in Tupperware. I do not own a vase. Shut up.

My Roommates Can Beat Up Your Roommates

2008-11-20T14:28:00.000-08:00

My roommates and I made a chalk mural! What you cannot tell from the picture is that this is, in fact, a work in 3-D CHALK (yes, it exists!). So the reds come toward you and the blues fall back. Which makes all the blood flying everywhere super-duper exciting, as you may well imagine. Consider me responsible for the pterodactyl, the sharkity-shark, the artichoke, and one of the hot air balloons. The rest is the work of my collaborators.

I feel privileged to live with such people.

In Which I Both Share And Apologize For My Self-Consciously Quirky Hobby

2008-11-18T14:48:00.001-08:00

I collect Wet Paint signs. Here are some of them.

This Is My New Motto

2008-11-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

I would buy everything in this store.

Mirror Mirror

2008-11-16T17:13:00.000-08:00

I made a mirror out of aluminum foil and put in on my door, which was supposed to be an act of self-mockery (those who know me are aware that I rarely pass a reflective surface without taking a glance), but the fact that I catch myself about to check my hair in a fake mirror a little too often has made it something of an embarrassment.

I'm not going to take it down though.

I've Got An Idea!

2008-11-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

What the ferocious Tyrannosaurus Rex lacked in arm bulk, it made up for in great plans about sandwiches. It is also my favorite dinosaur.

And can I just say that the "Fun With Dinosaur Stencils" booklet that I purchased this summer may never be accused of having a misleading title?

Be Forewarned

2008-11-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

The life of a dinosaur is not all glamour and excitement. Sometimes it's just abject frustration at being purple and having to wait for apples to fall from the tree.

It's very similar to my frustration at being left-handed and the resulting marker smudges. Which is to say, sorry for the marker smudges.

And Furthermore

2008-10-28T23:23:00.000-07:00

This is also pretty great. It's like footage from the security camera in my brain.

Throwing You A Bone

2008-10-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

You might have noticed that I haven't been posting of late, BUT I am here to offer what I actually consider decidedly non-feeble excuses for that. To wit, I have been studying for midterms, and I have a fever. That being said, nothing prevents me from posting Billy Wilder's work on my blog and calling it my own (except maybe some pesky copyright laws), so with that, I give you the glorious final scene from Sunset Boulevard:

Stay Out Of The Meadow

2008-10-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

So instead of drawing weird things that accidentally turn out looking cute, I figured this time I would draw something cute on purpose.
ALSO
Among my greater disappointments in life: getting to pet a fawn and realizing that its fur was about as soft as a steel brush. Which is not cute at all.

Putting The "Recess!" In "Recession"

2008-10-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to start prefacing all my statements with "In this wintry economic climate..."

FOR EXAMPLE:

"In this wintry economic climate it has become harder for me to tolerate people who use the word 'random' inappropriately."
or
"In this wintry economic climate one would expect the weather to be a few degrees cooler so that I could actually wear a damn scarf."
or even
"In this wintry economic climate I have to go to the bathroom."

See? Economic downturns are fun!

Auspices

2008-10-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

So last spring, in a Livy-reading-induced bout of whimsy, I decided to take my auspices (which is to say, look at birds in the near vicinity and "interpret" their movements as they pertained to my fate). The picture above is what I saw (those are deflated balloons below, in case you were wondering). At the time I interpreted it as a bad sign (and considering how the rest of that day played out, I was probably not wrong in this assumption), although last night I translated an anecdote about a guy who in the middle of a one-on-one battle with a huge, ferocious Gaul and had a crow land on his helmet and then go attack the Gaul for him, after which the crow returned to his helmet to just hang out and be groovy, so maybe crows are all well and good.

I am obviously really cool and popular.

Their Eyes Were Watching Television

2008-10-14T17:15:00.001-07:00

Because God was a rerun.

Education

2008-10-13T21:45:00.001-07:00

I know so many things.

I Might Have Set The Bar For Clever Titles Too High, Or Maybe This Post Is Too Boring To Merit One

2008-10-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

Forgive the lax posting. This week I have been consumed with number of things.

Chief among them (in no particular order):

1) Candy corn: As a purveyor of all seasonal candy, excluding Valentine's conversation hearts, this has been an important priority on my agenda given that Halloween is nearly at hand.

2) Dead languages: I translate them on a daily basis, and this takes time, and sometimes effort.

3) Contemplating a pact with the devil: I have been reading Goethe's Faust, and although I suppose I am meant to view it as a cautionary tale, I have to say, it makes the whole selling one's soul option seem pretty attractive. If only there were some kind of pamphlet for prospective soul merchants such as myself. "Is a pact with the Devil right for you?"

4) Bemoaning the weather: How, perhaps you wonder, might something so trivial consume so much of your time, to the exclusion of other activities? Well, dear reader, because it's goddamn October and I am ready for some gloom, and some tights-donning, and some scarf-wearing, and the weather has not been delivering (well, actually, today was an improvement), and I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Network is a good movie; you should watch it.

With all this having been said (that was an ablative absolute, in case you were wondering; see item 2), you may expect to see some Venn Diagrams and really poor magic marker drawings in the coming days.

A Still Life

2008-10-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

Cezanne so wishes this shit had been around during his lifetime.

A Miracle of Evolution

2008-10-02T15:52:00.000-07:00

It can't fly, but it can walk gracefully in heels, which is more than I can say for some people.

Yep, Sea Creatures, Act Surprised

2008-09-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Here's a good one I got off a Laffy Taffy: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a chicken?

Wait for it.

Wait...for...it...

Drumsticks for everyone!

Oh, guess what, octopi are as smart as dogs. No really. They are. Look it up.

Paul Newman Would Have Known What To Do

2008-09-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am heartbroken we have lost such a beacon of goodness in a crocodile-filled world. RIP, Paul.

Literary Commentary

2008-09-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

Did anyone ever read "The Giving Tree"? Did it fill anyone else with indescribable rage as that stupid little kid repeatedly took advantage of the steadfast tree who maybe didn't want to give him anything and maybe just wanted to hang out in the forest and drop pine cones (yes, the tree in the story was deciduous, but we're talking about the tree's fantasy life, so I'm going to take a little artistic license) on that little sonuvabitch's head?! Anybody?!

It's Over There

2008-09-25T14:11:00.000-07:00

Summer Is Over

2008-09-24T18:44:00.000-07:00

But that doesn't mean you're safe!

Okay, So Maybe I'm Clearly A Chump

2008-09-24T18:42:00.001-07:00

I unintentionally lied when I said I would get right on updating this sucker, BUT I am back with a vengeance, and all the pen and thoughts your feeble human minds will be able to take!

STARTING NOW!!!

Good News!

2008-08-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

I know I've been a bit of a deadbeat blogger of late, due in large part to technological issues, BUT you will (I hope) be happy to hear that I have a brand spanking new scanner and some new doodles to upload! Yay! Right? Yay!

More fun to come.

And Another One

2008-08-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

Spindly flapper has trouble walking.

Lionel Roy The Vinyl Boy

2008-08-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, there was a kid who would wear head-to-toe vinyl every single day. Pants, boots, hat, vest, jacket, gloves, sometimes even goggles. I spotted him so frequently that I felt I was doing him a disservice by continually referring to him as "that kid who wears head-to-toe vinyl every day," and so I dubbed him "Lionel Roy" for the simple reason that I could think of no other name that would rhyme with "Vinyl Boy." Eventually he stopped wearing vinyl, and I was, needless to say, very disappointed in him, and I even went so far as to write the lyrics to a tragic ballad on the subject, music provided by the then-boyfriend of one of my close pals. The song has since been lost in the sands of time (which is just as well, because my lyrics were pretty half-assed), and although I have contemplated a rewrite, for now, I think this similarly half-assed portrait will be a sufficient tribute to the boy who knew only of synthetic fabrics.

Further Experiments In Spindly Doodles

2008-08-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

When surveyed, nine out of ten females said they would prefer to be a mermaid.

Is It Just My Obsession With Fishies This Summer?

2008-08-07T11:32:00.000-07:00

Or is anchovy pizza the most delicious thing ever?

I'm going to go with "most delicious thing ever," in spite of the possible repercussions for such a flagrantly hyperbolic claim.

Or at least "a totally legitimate breakfast food."

I Ate Too Many

2008-08-05T13:19:00.001-07:00

My Sister Made Cookies

2008-08-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

There Are Worse Ways To Go

2008-08-03T15:13:00.000-07:00

Don't cartoon deaths sometimes seem whimsically humane?

More Sinister Fishies

2008-08-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, more of them.

Let Me Eat Cake

2008-07-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

Personally, if I were an 18th century French peasant, I'd find Marie Antoinette's rampant and well-documented (or possibly fictionalized by me) cake-hoarding infinitely more outrage-inducing (any other opportunities for hyphenation that I'm missing?) than an offer to share said cake.

The Alternative Being To Not Grow Up At All

2008-07-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

I did a few drawings experimenting with these spindly figures, and they all (predictably) kind of ended up looking like Eastern European runway models. C'est la vie.

Career Day

2008-07-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

All pretty viable options, although, given my proclivity towards sassiness, I'm probably most qualified for that last one.

Also...

2008-07-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Safety first.

Paging Mr. Herman

2008-07-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

You remember what to do when anyone says the secret word: scream real loud!

Heartwarming, Isn't It?

2008-07-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

Some artichokes love each other as much as I love drawing artichokes.

Sinister Fishies

2008-07-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

I have the feeling aquatic subject matter is going to be overrepresented on this blog. Oh well.

Monster Portrait

2008-07-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Self-explanatory?

It's Been One Of Those Days

2008-07-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

Socrates, eat your heart out.

Sassy Fish

2008-07-19T14:40:00.000-07:00

Some fishies are even sassier than TV judges.

It's Even Better Than They Said It Would Be!

2008-07-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

Seriously, did you guys know it was going to be a musical?! No one told me. Gutsy choice, Chris Nolan.

(No, I haven't seen The Dark Knight yet. I have to wait five more days for reasons beyond my control, and it's eating me up inside.)

In The Immortal Words Of A Snoopy Folder From San Francisco's Chinatown...

2008-07-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

I think what puts this text head and shoulders above other poor translations I have found on commercial products is that I can only begin to speculate at what this is actually supposed to mean. Something to do with rain and how it shrinks wool . . . and then choosing to walk rather than some other mode of transportation . . . with the Lone Ranger's sidekick . . . and then directions on how to do so?? I have to hand it to my mom and sister for finding this gem.

Vegetables Are Good For You, And So Are Puns

2008-07-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

Lest you think I only draw marine life (fictional and otherwise).

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

2008-07-16T13:41:00.001-07:00

"You yell 'Barracuda,' everybody says 'Huh? What?' You yell 'Shark,' we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July."

Something tells me yelling "sharkity-shark" doesn't carry quite the same weight.

By Popular Demand

2008-07-15T20:41:00.001-07:00

Oh like you wouldn't.

Why, Commissioner Gordon? Why?!

2008-07-15T20:30:00.001-07:00

The new Batman movie is gonna be, like, WAY darker than the others.

(Tableau by Tessa Strain, Photo by Angela Woodside)

This!

2008-07-15T20:29:00.001-07:00

In which I subject you, dear reader (viewer? surveyor? spectator?), to things I draw and write and collect and share for your reading (viewing? surveying? spectat--ok, that's not a word) pleasure.