Yet Another Sign I May Be On The Fast Track To Becoming A Crazy Person

I had my College Jeopardy! audition yesterday! Very exciting, in a sitting in a room with fifteen nerdy, bespectacled twenty-something young men kind of way. There was a written test, and a simulation of the game, and then a personal interview, during which I was asked what would I do if I won the $100,000 that the college champion gets. And without even thinking I immediately blurted out the first thing that popped into my head:

"Hedge maze with peacocks!"

So we'll see if I'll be saying similarly ridiculous things on national television come April. But in the meantime, I did get a free Jeopardy! pen, so I already feel like a winner.

I Have Noticed

Two things that are pretty easy to get for free:

-crayons

-condoms

Mary, Mother Of Pez

This was done as on commission for my lovely friend Leon. I love thinking about Pez dispensers because I like to imagine a bunch of besuited advertising men trying to figure out how to sell the most disgusting candy ever, after Necco wafers, and one of them saying "Wait! I've got it!" I watch Mad Men, so I know all about how this works.

Hmm, I may need to do a color version of this.

The Grotesque Holiday Decoration That's Sweeping The Nation!

Well, Thanksgiving is over, which means two things:

1) Pie for breakfast

2) The Christmas season has begun!

With Number 2 in mind, I give you the holiday garland that will revolutionize holiday decorating:

MistleToes!

I don't yet know what one is supposed to do under them, but I have no doubt it's something disturbing. And yet my house will soon be festooned with them. Get ready.

Why I Love Trader Joe's

While getting carded as I went to purchase a bottle of wine (and a cartload of awesome Trader Joe's snackity-snacks) a couple days after my birthday, the cashier noticed the date on my driver's license, wished me a happy birthday, and plopped this bouquet on top of my groceries. Totally brightened my day, which was subsequently darkened when I locked my keys inside my car (a car which, I must say, is probably entirely deserving of its own post, and which will probably receive it).

And yes, the flowers are being displayed in Tupperware. I do not own a vase. Shut up.

My Roommates Can Beat Up Your Roommates

My roommates and I made a chalk mural! What you cannot tell from the picture is that this is, in fact, a work in 3-D CHALK (yes, it exists!). So the reds come toward you and the blues fall back. Which makes all the blood flying everywhere super-duper exciting, as you may well imagine. Consider me responsible for the pterodactyl, the sharkity-shark, the artichoke, and one of the hot air balloons. The rest is the work of my collaborators.

I feel privileged to live with such people.

In Which I Both Share And Apologize For My Self-Consciously Quirky Hobby

I collect Wet Paint signs. Here are some of them.