I Feel Ya, Jupiter

Watching animated models of the planets orbiting the sun always brings back the indignity of getting lapped at swim team practice when I was a kid.

I Could Do So Many "More Likes" With The Word "Peacock"

Another commission, this one from my pal Katie, who called me about 45 minutes ago asking me to design a peacock feather tattoo for her by 6:30 PM. Challenge accepted.

My Letter To Santa

Wishful thinking, because I'm probably just going to get a stocking full of coal, and rightly so.

Yet Another Sign I May Be On The Fast Track To Becoming A Crazy Person

I had my College Jeopardy! audition yesterday! Very exciting, in a sitting in a room with fifteen nerdy, bespectacled twenty-something young men kind of way. There was a written test, and a simulation of the game, and then a personal interview, during which I was asked what would I do if I won the $100,000 that the college champion gets. And without even thinking I immediately blurted out the first thing that popped into my head:

"Hedge maze with peacocks!"

So we'll see if I'll be saying similarly ridiculous things on national television come April. But in the meantime, I did get a free Jeopardy! pen, so I already feel like a winner.

I Have Noticed

Two things that are pretty easy to get for free:

-crayons

-condoms

Mary, Mother Of Pez

This was done as on commission for my lovely friend Leon. I love thinking about Pez dispensers because I like to imagine a bunch of besuited advertising men trying to figure out how to sell the most disgusting candy ever, after Necco wafers, and one of them saying "Wait! I've got it!" I watch Mad Men, so I know all about how this works.

Hmm, I may need to do a color version of this.

The Grotesque Holiday Decoration That's Sweeping The Nation!

Well, Thanksgiving is over, which means two things:

1) Pie for breakfast

2) The Christmas season has begun!

With Number 2 in mind, I give you the holiday garland that will revolutionize holiday decorating:

MistleToes!

I don't yet know what one is supposed to do under them, but I have no doubt it's something disturbing. And yet my house will soon be festooned with them. Get ready.