Auspices

So last spring, in a Livy-reading-induced bout of whimsy, I decided to take my auspices (which is to say, look at birds in the near vicinity and "interpret" their movements as they pertained to my fate). The picture above is what I saw (those are deflated balloons below, in case you were wondering). At the time I interpreted it as a bad sign (and considering how the rest of that day played out, I was probably not wrong in this assumption), although last night I translated an anecdote about a guy who in the middle of a one-on-one battle with a huge, ferocious Gaul and had a crow land on his helmet and then go attack the Gaul for him, after which the crow returned to his helmet to just hang out and be groovy, so maybe crows are all well and good.

I am obviously really cool and popular.

Their Eyes Were Watching Television

Because God was a rerun.

Education

I know so many things.

I Might Have Set The Bar For Clever Titles Too High, Or Maybe This Post Is Too Boring To Merit One

Forgive the lax posting. This week I have been consumed with number of things.

Chief among them (in no particular order):

1) Candy corn: As a purveyor of all seasonal candy, excluding Valentine's conversation hearts, this has been an important priority on my agenda given that Halloween is nearly at hand.

2) Dead languages: I translate them on a daily basis, and this takes time, and sometimes effort.

3) Contemplating a pact with the devil: I have been reading Goethe's Faust, and although I suppose I am meant to view it as a cautionary tale, I have to say, it makes the whole selling one's soul option seem pretty attractive. If only there were some kind of pamphlet for prospective soul merchants such as myself. "Is a pact with the Devil right for you?"

4) Bemoaning the weather: How, perhaps you wonder, might something so trivial consume so much of your time, to the exclusion of other activities? Well, dear reader, because it's goddamn October and I am ready for some gloom, and some tights-donning, and some scarf-wearing, and the weather has not been delivering (well, actually, today was an improvement), and I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore! Network is a good movie; you should watch it.

With all this having been said (that was an ablative absolute, in case you were wondering; see item 2), you may expect to see some Venn Diagrams and really poor magic marker drawings in the coming days.

A Still Life

Cezanne so wishes this shit had been around during his lifetime.

A Miracle of Evolution

It can't fly, but it can walk gracefully in heels, which is more than I can say for some people.

Yep, Sea Creatures, Act Surprised

Here's a good one I got off a Laffy Taffy: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a chicken?

Wait for it.

Wait...for...it...

Drumsticks for everyone!


Oh, guess what, octopi are as smart as dogs. No really. They are. Look it up.